Brigands demand your money or your life women require both. money & women
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. nature
Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear lest she should catch a cold on overexposure. fear & truth
The worst thing that can happen to a man is to lose his money, the next worst his health, the next worst his reputation. health & money
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. truth
Life is not an exact science, it is an art. art, life & science
For truth is precious and divine, too rich a pearl for carnal swine. truth
What is faith but a kind of betting or speculation after all? It should be, I bet that my Redeemer liveth. faith
And so there is no God but has been in the loins of past gods. God
A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends. marriage
An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. God
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. the law
Vaccination is the medical sacrament corresponding to baptism. Whether it is or is not more efficacious I do not know. medical
Let every man be true and every god a liar. God
The Athanasian Creed is to me light and intelligible reading in comparison with much that now passes for science. science
They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, 'Can he name a kitten?' power
Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him. respect
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way. best
Think of and look at your work as though it were done by your enemy. I you look at it to admire it, you are lost. work
Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity? marriage
Every man's work, whether it be literature, or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself. architecture, music & work
The history of art is the history of revivals. art & history
Women can stand a beating except when it is with their own weapons. women
It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents. music
Theist and atheist: the fight between them is as to whether God shall be called God or shall have some other name. God
Work with some men is as besetting a sin as idleness. work
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. medical & power
God as now generally conceived of is only the last witch. God
To himself everyone is immortal he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead. death
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but a little want of knowledge is also a dangerous thing. knowledge
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. Valentine's Day
If I die prematurely I shall be saved from being bored to death at my own success. death & success
From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of being always right. greatness
All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense, but some are greater nonsense than others. home
Most people have never learned that one of the main aims in life is to enjoy it. life
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. experience & learning
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. friendship & money
A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it. money
A skilful leech is better far, than half a hundred men of war. war
Self-preservation is the first law of nature. nature
The Bible may be the truth, but it is not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. truth
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. being funny
To give pain is the tyranny to make happy, the true empire of beauty. beauty
He has spent his life best who has enjoyed it most. God will take care that we do not enjoy it any more than is good for us. best & God
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. food
Man is God's highest present development. He is the latest thing in God. God
There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death. death
People in general are equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted, and at seeing it practiced. religion
If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death. death
We shall never get people whose time is money to take much interest in atoms. money
There is no such source of error as the pursuit of truth. truth
The history of the world is the record of the weakness, frailty and death of public opinion. death & history
God and the Devil are an effort after specialization and the division of labor. God
It has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil. The want of money is so quite as truly. money
God cannot alter the past, though historians can. God & history
God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal. God & work
The sinews of art and literature, like those of war, are money. art, money & war
Life is like music it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule. music
All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. business
Death is only a larger kind of going abroad. death
The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions. money
Human life is as evanescent as the morning dew or a flash of lightning. life & morning
Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. fear
Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. art & life
The want of money is the root of all evil. money
All truth is not to be told at all times. truth
You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it. faith
Faith - you can do very little with it, but you can do nothing without it. faith