All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. humor
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. fear
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. technology
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. fatherhood
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. being funny
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. family & being funny
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. graduation
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. failure
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion. being funny, religion & time
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. business
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. time & Valentine's Day
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. being funny
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. being funny