A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. family, men & women
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. aging
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. happiness
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. marriage
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. pets
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. aging, home & hope
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up. love & marriage
Women would rather be right than reasonable. women
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. happiness
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. parenting
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money? being funny & money
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. money & work
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. happiness
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. hope