Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. best, being good & home
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. smile
Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family. family & peace
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. best & politics
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech. being alone
I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. government
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. home
It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. money
Don't knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. change & nature
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed. happiness
Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. money
When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. money
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. pets
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. men
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. money
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. Thanksgiving
A good listener is usually thinking about something else. being good
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. music
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. home
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. peace & war
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? success
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. patience
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed. happiness
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. money
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. men
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. Christmas
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school. fame