Quotes and anectdotes from the wise to the foolish, and the courageous to the drunk

George Burns Comedian

  • Gender: Male
  • Citizenship: United States
  • Born: Jan 20, 1896
  • Died: Mar 9, 1996

George Burns, born Nathan Birnbaum, was an American comedian, award-winning actor and best-selling writer.

He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, film, radio, and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar-smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three-quarters of a century.

When Burns was 79, his career was resurrected as an amiable, beloved and unusually active old comedian in the 1975 film The Sunshine Boys, for which he won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. He continued to work until shortly before his death, in 1996, at the age of 100.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. time

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. age

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. age & women

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. age

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle. good & happiness

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. funny

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. future

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. age

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. funny

I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money. money

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. future

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. age

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. money

At my age flowers scare me. age

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. age & funny

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. age

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. failure & success

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. failure, love & success

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. family, funny & happiness

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. age

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. funny

Thanksgiving November 28, 2024

The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest. 32 other views from William Blake

32 other views from William Blake

Drink and be thankful to the host! What seems insignificant when you have it, is important when you need it. 6 wisdom & wit from Franz Grillparzer

6 wisdom & wit from Franz Grillparzer

For what I have received may the Lord make me truly thankful. And more truly for what I have not received. 2 more wisdom & wit from Storm Jameson

2 more wisdom & wit from Storm Jameson

To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do. 73 other sayings from Victor Hugo

73 other sayings from Victor Hugo