Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. money
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. aging
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. being funny
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. being funny
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. aging
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. being funny
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. aging
I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. failure & success
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money. money
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. the future
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. time
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. aging
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. family, being funny & happiness
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. aging
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. aging & women
Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. the future
At my age flowers scare me. aging
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. aging & being funny
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. failure, love & success
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle. being good & happiness
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. aging